Christians are straight up FREAKS
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my being single is dangerous.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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