You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
