Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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