I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
