I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
