Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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