And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
