please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
