I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ketchup is God's man juice
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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