he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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