I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
