fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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