She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
