i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
