Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm chasing vodka with french fries.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle

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(801): View more from Utah

Come camping we have xanax and steaks

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(310): View more from California

I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me

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