What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
