Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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