Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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