She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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