onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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