i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
