a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize