I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
