if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
