I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
