He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
