I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It's just like the Real World with babies
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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