i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
