This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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