Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
