hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
