You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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