for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize