Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
