this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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