So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
