Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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