I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
And then my night got REAL pukey
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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