She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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