The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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