Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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