He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
