The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
