Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Damn victory sex feels great
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
