help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
