i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
