a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
