that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
