I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
we're so committed to being not committed
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
