Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it glows. i had to have it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
