shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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