Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He did a backflip because drugs
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