i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
