I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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