Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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