Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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