found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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