i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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