I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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