If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
