apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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