my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
ugly people sure do ruin things
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
