Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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