If that was your dad, he is hot
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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