...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
